A baby but no father…

The chance to have a baby was wonderful for me. He is healthy, but the one thing I can’t offer him is a father or a good friend. For us both, I hope one day to meet such a good person and I hope that being with him will change my life completely, and I will follow him everywhere, or almost.

* * * * *

The weeks pass and each day he distances himself from me a little more. We haven’t made love in a very long time. He no longer desires me. We talk about it. He explains that he now sees me more as a mother than as a woman (read mistress, lover).

It’s nighttime, he hasn’t come home yet. I’m sitting on the bed, crying. A moment ago, I felt the baby move for the first time. I need him to hold me, to feel his tenderness. I had been hoping for a long time that he would accept the idea of having a baby. I hoped that my expanding belly, the growing collection of things for the baby, and the positive comments of freinds and family would wear down his resistance and instill in him some enthusiasm for being a father.

I went through this pregnancy alone, far from my family and childhood friends, who live in another city. My partner became a phantom. He works later and later, and accepts all invitations extended to him. The baby’s room is now ready, there is only him missing now. I’m hoping it will be love at first sight when my partner sees his son. I want so much for the three of us to be happy.

France, Montréal (Québec)

* * * * *

Oh, Yes! I definitely would have another child… But this time, not alone. With the father.

Rachel, St-André Avellin (Québec)

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This entry was posted in Early pregnancy, Uncategorized, Wanting children - or not and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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