Carrying Your Child Alone

For many couples, a baby is the first real challenge they encounter. The uncertainties, questions and adjustments of the first child threaten the relationship. They must be ready to change their habits, to break the cocoon which nurtured their love, to make room. The couple as a distinct entity ends, and the family begins. Some are not able to manage the transition, and the relationship fails. Those able to overcome these hurdles broaden the limits of their love and find their relationship strengthened.

* * * * *

I was too conscious of the fact that we weren’t in agreement on the best way to raise a child. The anguish, the duality. Two opposing poles trying desperately to join but making sparks.

Line, Québec, Québec

* * * * *

Telling my partner I’m pregnant makes him distant and anxious. I’m torn between my own deep happiness about my condition and the reaction of the man I love. I feel like shouting from the rooftops that I am expecting a baby, but out of respect for my partner’s feelings I keep quiet.

A smoky bistro on Peel Street. We talk about the baby. He broaches the topic of abortion, saying he doesn’t want any more children. My heart and my world stop for an instant. No, he can’t be asking this of me! This baby makes me so happy. All the theoretical talk about abortion is now meaningless; this baby exists! It is inside me! My decision is irrevocable: I’m keeping this baby. I want it! At the risk of sending my life into turmoil. At the risk of losing the man I love. He sees it as a decision against him. A one-sided gesture, which does not take him into consideration. I can’t, in good conscience, do otherwise. Some women may choose abortion, but for me it is impossible.

France, Montreal, Québec

This entry was posted in Early pregnancy, Uncategorized, Wanting children - or not and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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